Graduation Day: 6 Reasons Not to Move Back Home
At first blush, it seems like a great idea. Move back home for a while after finishing school so you can unwind, save money, focus on your job search and spend quality time with family and friends before launching your life in earnest.
Some 40% of grads boomerang home, according to Monster.com, and a Pew Research Center survey shows that 13% of parents with grown children of all ages saw at least one child move back home in the last 12 months. It happens.
So if you (and your parents) decide that moving back home for a while is a wise choice, you'll have plenty company and no doubt many good reasons. My oldest will finish school next year and I'd happily welcome her for the summer, and possibly longer. With conditions. We'll see how it goes.
Yet my hope is that my daughter will be eager to launch; that she'll find a job and an apartment long before I start charging rent and easing her out the door in other ways. Don't kid yourself. An adult child living at home isn't easy. For survival tips look here and here. My advice for new grads that can hack it: don't give in to temptation; find your own place immediately. Here are my top six reasons for not moving back home with Mom and Dad after college:
- You'll be living above your means Sure, moving home is a money saver. You live rent-free and get plenty other bennies. Half or more of adult children living with Mom and Dad contribute nothing towards utilities, gasoline or groceries, according to a new survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education. This financially comfortable lifestyle is unrealistic and makes it more likely you will overstay your welcome and get a late start on adulthood.
- You'll have less incentive to work First jobs can be rough, especially if they are not in your field or seem menial relative to your education. Yet working at something is the smart choice. You'll make contacts, demonstrate drive and learn to fend for yourself. Living at home makes it too easy to be choosey, or should I say lazy.
- You send the wrong signal An employer won't ask if you live with your parents. So no big deal there. Still, the signal you send to others as well as yourself is that you are not ready for full-on adulthood. Some people may take you less seriously and you may even start to take yourself less seriously. You risk regressing into being a dependent and losing the drive to be on your own, and to take responsibility for your life.
- You may strain your family's finances Your moving back home costs Mom and Dad money. In the NEFE study, 26% of parents said they took on extra debt and 13% delayed a life event like retirement to accommodate their adult children.
- You invite emotional discord One in three parents say they had to sacrifice valuable privacy when a child moved back home; one in 10 parents experience guilt over an adult child's need to move back home, and 8% believe their kids are emotionally manipulating them, according to the NEFE study.
- You let inertia take root Doing nothing is a habit. It becomes easier and easier to put off growing up until the next day or the next month. Sometimes it's best to take a leap, knowing you'll have to work hard so that everything works out. Heck, if it doesn't you can always move back home.
More on MoneyWatch:
- Kids and Money: How Teen Attitudes are Shifting
- Interview Questions New Grads Should Ask and Answer
- 7 Must-Have Tools for New Graduates
- 12 Common College Money Mistakes
Daniel J. Kadlec is an author and journalist whose work appears regularly in Time and Money magazines. He is the former editor of Time’s Generations section, which was written and edited for boomers. Kadlec came to Time from USA Today, where he was the creator and author of the daily column Street Talk, which anchored the newspaper's business coverage. He has co-written three books, including, most recently, With Purpose: Going from Success to Significance in Work and Life. He has won a New York Press Club award and a National Headliner Award for columns on the economy and investing.
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