'I've asked why she still wants to be with me': Ex-naval diver with rare condition proposes to girlfriend

"Everyone feels like I'm the one taking care of him, but actually he takes care of me more," says Liu Jingyi, 31, of her fiance, Kenneth Tan.

The pair, who were recently interviewed by 8world, shared more about their six-year relationship, which will culminate in marriage at the end of this year.

To many, they might not seem like a regular couple. 

Tan, 35, and his younger brother were both diagnosed with Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia in 2014. The rare genetic neurological condition which affects the function of the spinal cord, causes a lack of mobility in the lower limbs.

He told 8world that the weakness and numbness in his legs has resulted in frequent falls. Due to this, he has to rely on crutches to get around.

There is no cure for the condition, which is expected to worsen over time, Tan added. Recently, he sometimes has to use a wheelchair to move about.

Liu is understanding of his condition, said Tan, and would take the time to explain to concerned passers-by whenever he accidentally takes a spill while they're out.

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"She's very thoughtful. Whenever we take the car, she would find a place that's most convenient for me to alight before finding a parking lot.

"She doesn't mind that I have to sit on a wheelchair or that she has to push the wheelchair. I can fall twice or even thrice in a day and she would help me explain to others," said Tan.

Tan often feels frustrated due to his condition, but Liu would always consider his point of view and is patient in waiting for him to calm down after he has vented his emotions.

Why she has remained by his side is a question Tan has openly asked.

"I've asked her why she still wants to be with me. She told me that loving someone means accepting everything about them, to forgive and to support one another, and to not be calculative about who has sacrificed more or less," Tan shared.

Liu told 8world: "Actually I feel that his condition hasn't affected us that much. We can do what ordinary couples do, such as shopping and eating. We also go cycling together, although we ride slowly, we just need to rest when we're tired and we're okay".

To her, Tan is someone who is reliable, and just as caring and supportive.

"It's the little things in life. Like if I need him to buy something for me, he will buy it. No matter how busy he is with work, he would still find time to meet me and ask me about my day. When I'm upset he would accompany me and is very caring towards me."

Tan and his brother Eugene had shared with AsiaOne in a 2016 interview about receiving the devastating diagnosis and how they coped with it.

Tan, who was in the Singapore Armed Forces' naval diving unit at the time, was given the choice to be transferred to an administrative role, but made the decision to leave the force instead to pursue his other interest in art.

According to 8world, Tan began a new career as a manager at an advertising agency. That was also when he met Liu.

Around the six-month mark of their relationship, however, Tan got into an accident while on the way to pick Liu up on his motorbike.

Tan landed in hospital with six broken ribs and suffered severe damage to his lungs, shoulders and spine. He was bedridden for two months, but she was by his side every day.

Tan sought Liu's hand in marriage in May this year with an underwater proposal. The pair are currently preparing for their wedding to be held in November.

ALSO READ: Singaporean beats rare disease to propose to girlfriend on top of Mount Rinjani

candicecai@asiaone.com

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